Mariah and Tessa are in trouble

1) Lindsay: “Oh don’t mind me. I am just your generic gorgeous blonde bartender who just so happens to have no compunction against same sex relationships and specializes in serving as the rebound girl in broken relationships.”

2) Lindsay: “Normally I would not even think about having sex with a girl Mariah, however, if you can convince Tessa to angle for some Coachella tickets then…”

3) Lindsay: “Awww Mariah, did someone just brake your heart and made you slam your computer shut? Come over here to mommy Lindsay and let me help you make that boo boo go away.”