Keanu Reed

1) Reed: “Hurray, so I guess that means I get to save Sandra Bullock and twenty other passengers from certain death on a city bus.”

2) Reed: “Watch me dodge bullets by bending my torso from knees to shoulders in a perfect parallel position to the ground.”

3) Reed: “While the idea of playing the brooding but romantic male lead with a bevy of gorgeous Hollywood starlets is mind blowing I’d have to take a raincheck when it comes to gay sex with River Phoenix though.”