“Alcohol?! I would never!”

“What was I supposed to do? Tell her I’m married and NOT flirt with her?! Come on, honey, be reasonable!”

“Look. Try to see things from my point of view!”

“What could be inside of this box? A basketball? Football? Soccer ball? Baseball? Surely, it’s one of these balls! Nope. It’s boxing gloves, and you’ve just had your first lesson in disappointment, son. There will be many more to come.”