“You will accept my help, young lady, or there will be no cell phone for a week!”

“What a coincidence, I have a package for you too!”

“Dear Lord, please blow up thy holy matrimony, so that we might score the leftovers!”

“On the plus side, I’ve got this awesome hickey!”

“… but please don’t stay away from Brash & Sassy’s new skincare line. We would really love to have your business.”