Who would write such a thing?!

“Hey everybody! It’s Victoria, and welcome to our CEO Chat.”

“Have you asked Grandma Nikki about it? I think I heard somewhere she’s an alcoholic…”

“What?! You say I’m being called away for a space mission on Mars until I am recast with Melissa Ordway’s husband in 3 months, because Y&R couldn’t just be honest and say they wanted to get rid of me, so they can film more scenes using a real-life couple? I’m on my way!”